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6 Things you’ll never hear on a reality show July 8, 2008

Posted by ashiah in In the news, What's On TV.
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Yesterday, Rich from FourFour posted a video that compiled the single most overused phrase used in reality shows: “I’m not here to make friends…” That’s right, because reality TV contestants are there to win it, not completely whore themselves to fame. Psh, that’s crazy talk. In response, here are five six things you’ll never hear muttered on a reality TV show…ever: (more…)

I survived “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” July 2, 2008

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Yesterday I managed to catch ABC’s newest reality show about a couple Americans taken to Japan and forced to compete in one of those stereotypical crazy Japanese game shows. Those culture shock Americans sure are funny! Or is it the Japanese we’re making fun of? Oh, who keeps track anymore. The whole episode (yes, I somehow managed to watch the whole thing) reminded me of an old Simpsons episode where the Simpsons go to Japan and have to compete in a demeaning Japanese game show to win tickets back home to Springfield. Of course, The Simpsons were just being their usual satirical selves, I Survived a Japanese Game Show is still unfortunately real.

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Answer to broadcast innovation? More crap on screens July 1, 2008

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Hey, look, I’m on TV!
Wait, where’s the TV show?

Whenever I come across articles written about the new Web 2.0 generation, or the new ultra wired, savvy generation, or whatever other pseudo generation category the media loves to make up, one of the major concerns is how broadcast television can adapt to evolving technology. TechCrunch reported yesterday about a partnership between Vh-1 and Slide, the company that makes Superpoke. The idea is that while watching your favorite Vh-1 celebreality shows, for whatever reason, you’ll have some uncontrollable urge to text in a “poke” to some person you don’t know. Then you’ll sit back in euphoria as you see your screen name on TV. Hey, look who’s famous! This stunning stroke of innovation will premiere tomorrow during a four day marathon of trashy Vh-1 reality shows. Hey, I don’t expect any better from the producers of I Love Money.

This fall, white is in June 14, 2008

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A black and an Asian. There. Happy?

Something important is missing from this year’s fall lineup. According to EW.com, it’s diversity. Family Guy spinoff The Cleveland Show is the only new black show coming this fall, which prompt EW.com to ask where’s the diversity? TV executives are already on the problem, switching up some of their most popular shows to add diversity. Below are some of the changes:

–ABC’s Desperate Housewives will add a new Asian character, Kelly Yu, who will spend the majority of her role walking around in a red dress and glaring at people.

–NBC’s spy-comedy Chuck will introduce a new villian, Julio Hernandez, a feisty Latino who stares passionately into the camera but speaks no English.

–The CW’s Gossip Girl will add two new stylish characters, one black and one Asian, who will hang out silently behind the more dominant white characters. Oh wait, that’s already happening.

American Idol apparently still on TV May 15, 2008

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We lack relevance!

Out of the seven years American Idol has been on the air, the ratings powerhouse has finally hit a speed bump scoring its lowest scores ever this season. While columnists attribute the decline to predictability, uninteresting contestants, and out-of-date song choices, it appears everyone is missing one crucial point: Maybe we’re just getting older.

When American Idol first had its premiere I was 17. I sat glued to my television as I cheered on Ryan Starr and Tamyra Gray while eating McStuffins (Whatever happened to those?). But now, at 22, I have completed my transformation into a dry, cynical adult. Get off my lawn, American Idol!

But for those sitting out this season, they unfortunately missed out on this. Fast forward to 3:27.


Reality TV gets more honest May 9, 2008

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We don’t die, we multiply.

Screw sleazy dating shows. What’s in right now? Money whoring! Because that’s what reality TV always has been, but now people aren’t afraid to admit it. Running out of dating show ideas, Vh-1 decided to peel back the veil and reveal its true colors. I Love Money will take former rejects from I Love New York, Flavor of Love, and Rock of Love and have them compete in most likely humiliating and demeaning ways for a little cash. Enough cash to probably gas up their Jeep Cherokees for a week! I am so watching this.

Flavor Flav refuses to find chair, sit in it April 26, 2008

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Oh mom, can we keep him?

Flavor Flav’s newest sitcom airing on MyNetwork TV is the final nail in the coffin. Make it stop, please. The Flavor Flav minstrel show has gone on for too long. I admit I used to love Flavor of Love. I even wrote a column about it. Trashy TV is a weakness of mine, but there’s a line Flavor Flav, Vh-1, and their various spin offs have crossed, and that’s deliberate ignorance and buffoonery. Flavor of Love‘s first season was a guilty pleasure because Flavor Flav was earnestly looking for love, the women were earnestly batshit insane. But now everything is too obvious, like they’re intentionally pandering to the lowest brow of entertainment. I guess you could say that about all reality TV, but I like drama, not fake, put-on drama. The Flavor Flav sitcom Under One Roof is even worse because real breathing, college educated writers sat down and wrote this garbage. Haven’t we seen this show before? What about The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, In the House, or hell, The Odd Couple? Do they think we’re that stupid? I prefer to watch shows that don’t have such low opinions of its viewers. Sheesh.